When you first met your boss, boy oh boy, you thought you had lucked out! Warm, friendly, and oh-so-charming and supportive. And then, ever so slowly, things take a slightly darker turn. You begin to realize that in your boss’s world view, it’s all about HIM (or HER). Like the song My Way by Frank Sinatra, the very earth itself exists because the Friend Profile needs something to stand on.

Recognizing Your Friend Profile Boss

They are supremely confident with a warm and engaging manner that allows them to charm everyone within their vicinity. They are superb at names and faces, highly skilled at putting people at ease with witty small talk and chit-chat. All that chutzpah is appealing in today’s business world, and as a consequence, the chances of meeting a Friend profile boss are actually fairly high.

Friend profiles have the in-born ability to quickly identify strengths in other people. This is a highly-honed skill, because the Friend profile is all about benefitting from other people. In a healthy Friend profile, this talent makes them great delegators. They have the knack to assign the right task to the right person in order to get the right results. A Friend profile’s resource doesn’t begin and end with mere money. For them, resource includes time, knowledge and people.

The healthy Friend profile can also bring this talent to the negotiating table. They are skilled negotiators who are very good at making useful connections.

Friend profiles are usually non-authoritarian leaders. They enjoy working with a team and prefer to adopt a more laissez-faire attitude and a pace-setting role.

Your Friend Profile Boss Under Pressure

Trouble starts when the Friend profile turns unhealthy. There are various markers a Bazi consultant uses to determine if a profile is healthy or unhealthy. To keep it simple for you, a key determining factor is when the Friend profile hits 100%.

When this happens, the self-centred nature of the Friend profile becomes magnified to the point where they become virtually incapable of accepting other viewpoints or ideas. They begin to over-estimate their use and value to others, leading to a narcissistic personality with delusions of grandiosity.

How To Deal With Your Friend Profile Boss

Dealing with the healthy Friend boss calls for more of a personality tweak as opposed to actual skills. Give plenty of emotional support, make sure they are included in everything, and give appreciation… publicly!

If you are dealing with an unhealthy level Friend boss, then I’m sorry, I’m about to turn you into a sycophant. Honestly, there is only a short-term solution for this. Subsuming one’s identity and living in the shadow of another cannot possibly be something for the long-term. The best that could happen is to milk as much advantage out of the current situation before moving on to the next thing.

To be useful for a narcissist, you need to quickly identify your Friend boss’s real goal and make sure that you actively help him achieve that goal. While you do that, gain some benefits for yourself by observing how your Friend boss operates in the world. These profiles have some skills that can be adopted, internalized, and tweaked to fit your own personality. How they breeze into a room and instantly connect with everyone, the way they articulate their requests, their outward show of confidence.

Note: If you’ve missed my first post for this series, plot your Boss’s Bazi Chart with this free resource (registration required) Key in the name, gender and date of birth. You don’t need to key in the time of birth. That information is not relevant for this purpose. Scroll right down to the bottom to find the profile.

In all this, I must stress that you cannot ‘fix’ another person’s chart. Only the owner can do so, if he or she wishes to. The strategies offered here are designed to put you in a position that either complements the strengths or fills in the blind spots of that particular profile.

Disclaimer: The Bazi Technical terms (Direct Wealth, Indirect Wealth, Eating God, Hurting Officer, Direct Officer, 7Killings, Friend and Rob Wealth) are copyright property of the Joey Yap Mastery Academy. If you wish to learn the art of Chinese Metaphysics for yourself, please visit for more information.